When People Belittle Your Dreams

It is impossible to function when there are people in your life who belittle you to make themselves feel better. At some point in our lives, we all receive negative comments and demeaning remarks. People who bring us down exist everywhere. Some hurt us intentionally and others don’t realise if they’re doing something wrong.

There are people who actually take pride in belittling others to feel good about themselves. A happy, positive and confident person would never put someone down. In fact, they’ll try to make you feel the same way they do.

Negative personalities only bring you down to make themselves look larger or feel better. According to them, the only way to feel like a winner is to make others feel worse than they do. For them, belittling others and pulling them down is a defence mechanism.

What is the Best Way to React to Taunts?

Remember when someone is pulling you down, it’s all about them. Their goal is to trap you and pull out a reaction.

People will disrespect you, lie to you, use you, and break your heart, but no one will ever hurt you more than you hurt yourself, by replaying those transgressions in your mind forever … Bryant McGill

The best thing to do in such a scenario is to avoid all contact. The second best thing you can do is not give them a response they want. Don’t plan into their plan. Interestingly, a lack of response can throw the offender off. They might just end the conversation right away.

Release the Words

Strong Sensitive Souls share some wonderful ideas to recover self esteem. Here’s an excerpt.

Words are powerful. They can reflect both the beauty of the world and the ugliness. When people don’t respect the power of words, they use them irresponsibly. Don’t allow this irresponsible dialogue to steal your self-worth.

If the words you heard were very painful, talk them through with someone you trust. Someone who believes in you and can give you the comfort you need. Let your guard down and reveal how the words made you feel. This vulnerability will open yourself up to receiving the love and healing you need.

Process your emotions. Ask for help if you need it. Put in the work and fight for your thoughts. Then release the words that were spoken so irresponsibly towards you. They don’t serve you and they aren’t your truth.

Always remember, the only power belittling words have over you, is the power you give them.  

How do you respond to negative comments? Feel free to share your thoughts here.

Happy IWD 2019

Balance for Better

To every #woman out there… Happy International Women’s Day
Let’s #share this #powerfulmessage by #chimamandaadichie

📷 #credits #googledoodle #iwd2019

#women #womensday #womensday2019 #womendayquotes #womenenpowerment #warriors #strongwomen #womensupportingwomen #girlboss #womenpower #inspiring #positivevibesonly💯

What Being Strong Means to Me

Never apologize for being a powerful woman.

There are a lot of misconceptions about strong women. People believe they’re inevitably bitter, they hate men, and that’s just not attractive. Well, being strong means I can stand up for myself. That I am an adult who can think clearly, can do things for herself, and most importantly, function independently.

I also have opinions and beliefs which may be drastically different from what society expects us to have, and I refuse to settle for less. But this doesn’t mean I shove my beliefs and opinions down other people’s throats or judge them for how they think. I am not bitter or arrogant. But in all reality, it’s the complete opposite. It’s just that I am confident in who I am.

Do not mistake independence and strength with arrogance. A woman who is strong and confident will be brutally honest with herself. We know what areas in our life need improvement, and where we must draw the line. 

Being strong doesn’t mean I don’t need help. I acknowledge that I’m not a superwoman and asking other people for help won’t make me weak either. A strong woman is willing to gain strength from supportive friends, family members, and mentors – despite the notion that strong women should do it all alone. I wonder why the world sees us as a threat. Why are we labelled as ‘too much,’ ‘too intimidating,’ ‘too miserable,’ ‘too rude,’ or too ‘bitter?’  We are none of those things! 

Strong women are women with backbones. We aren’t afraid to put ourselves out in a world that might not support us. We know our strengths, our weaknesses, and our passion. Only if people stick around long enough, they’ll get a taste of what having a strong woman by their side means.

Raise Your Daughters To Be Strong Women

Make sure they are self-assured and ready to tackle the world.

The vast majority of people are instantly threatened by the fire, force and the outspokenness of strong women. They’re not what the world perceives them to be – beautifully wrapped delicate bodies.

While strong women are not easily intimidated, they’re not aggressive either. This beautiful breed can take care of themselves as best as they can and achieve everything they want. More importantly, they refuse to take shit from anyone. Strong women aren’t heartless or cold. It’s just that they know where and how to spend their precious time. They don’t let people play with their emotions, focus, and goals. And there’s no time for gossip or petty discussions.

You will never find strong women putting others down. In fact, they will call out this behavior if they see it. Inside the tough exterior, you will find a kind heart that will tell you these women are humans and can cry or breakdown too. 

Remember, strong women are confident and self-assured. They know their strengths and abilities and what they need to accomplish their goals. You’d never find them seeking validation from others. They’re their own source of motivation. Raise your daughters better so they can be strong women. 

How Burnout Taught Me the Biggest Lesson in Life

Burnout can happen quietly, through creeping fences. But you can get back on track.

I stood in my boss’s office and for the first time, said ‘No’ to him directly. As someone who always wanted to become a dedicated employee, I felt incredibly guilty for refusing to take on another project.

The exhaustion was real. I felt I didn’t have the mental, emotional, or physical capacity to do more. What’s worse is that I felt ashamed and thought I was a failure. My brain ignored my achievements.

Should I turn off the laptop? I held back my tears, as I knew my commitment to my work went way beyond what was healthy. This was the first time I, a highly driven “career girl” was having a serious problem. I wanted to stay in bed and cry from despair and helplessness. I hated work updates as I couldn’t muster the conversation, and honestly, I was utterly burnt out. Because I didn’t care about my self at that stage of exhaustion, my stress levels skyrocketed, and my health was slowly destroyed.

Image Courtesy: @Thrive

To turn this burnout around, nourishment is non-negotiable. This includes getting quality rest, eating right, exercising gently, and getting fresh air. But you also have to nourish your heart and brain by doing things that make you feel like you.

Remember, coming back from burnout is more than putting gas back in the tank. You must step up and accept responsibility to make sure you’re okay through all the pressures and priorities in your life. It doesn’t matter what it is or how you do it—what matters is making your own self a priority.

What To Do If You Have a Bad Boss

Here’s how you can survive working for a bad boss.

Bad bosses are common in the average Pakistan workforce. Most professionals say their boss is the most stressful part of their job. We all know someone who left a job only to get away from their toxic boss.

Surprisingly, people stay in jobs with toxic bosses for a multitude of reasons.

1. I don’t have the energy to start job hunting again.

2. I love my coworkers.

3. I need money and this place pays me well.

4. I’ve invested precious time in this organization.

5. Things will be better soon.

These excuses are deeply linked to human psychology. Toxic workplaces rob workers of the energy needed to search for a new job or perform better. They find it hard to quit, and it’s impossible to identify a new opportunity when one lacks motivation. Additionally, people stay in toxic situations if they are emotionally attached to their job. Although staying put seems more lucrative, it comes with many risks.

Studies reveal that employees who work for toxic bosses are more susceptible to stress, depression, fatigue, and anxiety.

What You Can Do?

Bad bosses should always be taken seriously. If you can’t quit immediately, it’s a good idea to talk to your boss. A difficult boss may not be open to hearing you, but you can try making specific requests to get what you need.

Second, engage with a support network. Talk to like-minded co-workers to de-stress.

Last, take care of your health. Get plenty of exercise, and sleep.

Of course, you are in the best position to decide what’s best for you. If you dread going to work every day, or if you feel physically and emotionally drained, or your self-confidence is affected, it’s time to go. Line up your next move – your job search. Remember, it’s okay to quit to keep your sanity intact.