Often we find our friends, loved ones feeling the weight of their worry and we want to tell them that they are not alone. There are many ways to be there for someone, but sincerity is what makes the difference.
If you want to be truly there for someone, you must listen with a heart of understanding. Don’t just listen to respond. Show that you genuinely care for the person going through troubled waters. Understand the reality of their situation and try not to be judgmental.
Sometimes being there for someone means you comfort with genuine encouragement. Yes, you can be vocal. Also, try to read between the lines. You must learn to identify what a person wants at that moment, but can’t ask for it. Sometimes ‘I’m fine’ may have a completely different meaning.
Learn to listen, not hear. Become attuned to how they speak, how they express themselves. Absorb their body language, their tone of voice, their ticks.
Be protective, but not overly so. Do not let your love cloud you into not allowing them to be their own person. Let them speak for themselves. Let them be strong. Let them grow. Hold them tightly when they need it; give them space when they need it.
You must also realize that you need to be compassionate. Also, being there for your friend or loved one should be a natural response. Of course, you can’t be there all the time — BUT, you can be there when you want to.
There are days when you simply want someone to be there. Not to do or say something extraordinary, but to let us feel hopeful. Remember, being there for someone is what really matters. Your smile can be an instant mood lifter for someone.
No Strings Attached
“Being there” is unconditional. You don’t demand anything from the person that you are there for. Similarly, the other person might not thank you at that point. But they will sooner or later realize how much you being there impacts them.
Even if your efforts are not appreciated, don’t lose hope nor be sad. If you really want to be there for someone, go ahead. But don’t fool yourself or anyone else into thinking that “you’ll be there” if you don’t mean it. Don’t offer to help if you can’t be there when a person needs you the most.
Being there for someone else is less about the physical stuff and more about being mentally present and emotionally available for more than just yourself. It does not guarantee a positive experience. But saying “I’ll be there no matter what happens, I do care, and I will care” can mean the world to the other person.
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