Make Life Easier on Yourself by Accepting Good Enough.
I am my own harshest critic. I must be in control of every aspect of my life. At work, I have to be the best employee. As far as looks are concerned, I must have the ideal figure – a narrow waist, flat belly, and absolutely no ‘jiggly’ parts. In terms of style, everything has to be branded down to my socks. These all sound like too good to be true, right? Well, that’s because they are. In fact, some of them are nearly impossible to accomplish.
It took a lot of thinking for me to fully accept that chasing perfection isn’t a good idea. It’s true that no one can be perfect in every aspect of his or her life. My teenage years weren’t the best mainly because I was secretly obsessed with being perfect. I spent a lot of time looking in the mirror staring at every single flaw I had. In my mind, I was a fat and dark ‘worthless’ human who can never be good enough.
The Twenties were no different. Every day, I hated what I saw in the mirror. I never wanted to interact with people and there was always an excuse: I’m too busy working! Mean comments about my skin tone and weight lead me into a spiral of negative thoughts. These negative words were constantly on a loop in my head driving me crazy.
Perfectly imperfect at 33!
Things started changing the day I turned 30. I realized spending time with loved ones is so much more beneficial than dwelling over negative, mean comments that are worthless. There’s much more to life than obsessing over relationships, the number on the weight scale or the shade of your foundation. I decided to enjoy time with my family and friends. Well, there’s no gap between my thighs and I still have belly rolls. My butts jiggle when I walk or run. I know I’m not perfect,and that is okay.
So what really matters?
Forget the weighing scale and the reflection you see in the mirror. Don’t beat yourself up for not having the ideal body proportions or skin tone. Accept who you are. Do whatever makes you happy. Nobody is perfect and that is just how it is. Love yourself because you are worth it.
Here’s why body shaming must stop right now.
I clearly remember the first time I was “fat shamed.” The phrase – fat shaming wasn’t popular back then. A fellow student looked at me and said, “How much do her parents feed her?” There were other students as well and I saw everyone nodding in agreement. There was no remorse or compassion. No one asked her to stop being rude. Everyone just continued with their conversations and I sat in a corner – feeling low.
Two decades later I still think about that experience. And the interesting thing is that people haven’t changed much. They still believe something is wrong with me. Fat shaming sadly has become socially acceptable to the point where it is now intolerable. Most women and even men believe it won’t hurt if your body is made a talking point.
In this era where we are obsessed with being skinny or tiny, I’d like to say a few things. We all have days when we don’t feel good about ourselves and the last thing I want is to be attacked about my weight. I have always been big. “You must wear black often; it is a slimming color.” Well, people – there is more than one type of physique. Are women with curves not allowed to wear colors and embrace their bodies as well?
I’m happy about how Body positivity promotes the different kinds of body frames. But there’s a lot to be done. Another rude question we often encounter is “when was the last time you had a healthy meal?” Okay, I can guarantee that this question is not helpful or kind. In fact, it is offensive and why would someone ask that in the first place. It is just plain rude.
It’s hard to be happy when I am judged for my size. Of course, I want to be healthy, but it does not mean I want to be skinny! Maybe I want to be more toned or muscular.
Fat shaming has got to the point where new people would remember you for how you look. You’d find dozens of obnoxious memes on social media. It’s upsetting to see my physique being subjected to unsolicited advice and jokes. Even celebs aren’t immune to fat shaming – it effects them as well.
People also need to realize skinny shaming has the same negative emotional impact as fat shaming. You can’t get away with a little smirk if you thought skinny shaming is acceptable. Remember that you should be cautious about the way you speak about the other person’s appearance. Normal decency should apply to conversations. Don’t let someone down to make yourself feel better. These harsh words can break someone’s ‘body’ confidence – forever!