I clearly remember the first time I was “fat shamed.” The phrase – fat shaming wasn’t popular back then. A fellow student looked at me and said, “How much do her parents feed her?” There were other students as well and I saw everyone nodding in agreement. There was no remorse or compassion. No one asked her to stop being rude. Everyone just continued with their conversations and I sat in a corner – feeling low.
Two decades later I still think about that experience. And the interesting thing is that people haven’t changed much. They still believe something is wrong with me. Fat shaming sadly has become socially acceptable to the point where it is now intolerable. Most women and even men believe it won’t hurt if your body is made a talking point.
In this era where we are obsessed with being skinny or tiny, I’d like to say a few things. We all have days when we don’t feel good about ourselves and the last thing I want is to be attacked about my weight. I have always been big. “You must wear black often; it is a slimming color.” Well, people – there is more than one type of physique. Are women with curves not allowed to wear colors and embrace their bodies as well?
I’m happy about how Body positivity promotes the different kinds of body frames. But there’s a lot to be done. Another rude question we often encounter is “when was the last time you had a healthy meal?” Okay, I can guarantee that this question is not helpful or kind. In fact, it is offensive and why would someone ask that in the first place. It is just plain rude.
It’s hard to be happy when I am judged for my size. Of course, I want to be healthy, but it does not mean I want to be skinny! Maybe I want to be more toned or muscular.
Fat shaming has got to the point where new people would remember you for how you look. You’d find dozens of obnoxious memes on social media. It’s upsetting to see my physique being subjected to unsolicited advice and jokes. Even celebs aren’t immune to fat shaming – it effects them as well.
People also need to realize skinny shaming has the same negative emotional impact as fat shaming. You can’t get away with a little smirk if you thought skinny shaming is acceptable. Remember that you should be cautious about the way you speak about the other person’s appearance. Normal decency should apply to conversations. Don’t let someone down to make yourself feel better. These harsh words can break someone’s ‘body’ confidence – forever!
3 thoughts on “Don’t You Want an Ideal Body?”
I also experienced fat shaming growing up; starting from my own family, Subhan’Allah. Although I was avery active teenager, they told me I needed to lose weight or else I would have trouble getting married. I spent my high school years being forced to weigh myself infront of the entire family on a weekly basis to monitor my weight.
Ironically, all the fat shaming only caused me to gain weight. To this day, people ask me what I’m doing to lose weight. They are usually shocked to find that I am not dieting, not working out excessively, and not even trying to lose weight. I’ve accepted myself as fat, when will everyone else? Probably not in my lifetime.
It’s a terrible feeling when your own family ridicules you 😞
I am in the same boat, been fat shamed throughout my life and that as well mainly by family than strangers. I have just become too immune to all of it to the extent that recently when someone tried to make a joke about my weight, my comeback was “If you’re going to make a joke about it, at least come up with something original!” and they were so taken back by it that they didn’t even attempt to make any comments about my weight after that lol. I think I have just given up on expecting people to have common decency towards overweight people and its a very sad thing for them to feel justified for doing this because “they are trying to make us loose weight for our own benefit”.